Seattle Seahawks fans.
The Seattle Seahawks are about to embark on their first non-Danger Russ-led campaign in a decade. After an offseason of confusing decisions and seemingly directionless roster moves, my editor asked me to walk you through why it’s ok to hate on this year’s iteration of the Hawks.
If you’ve ever played fantasy sports, you know there’s always that one dude making add/drops at random, playing weird line-up hunches, and generally finishing last every year. This year Head Coach Pete Carroll and General Manager John Schneider are trying that strategy with an actual NFL team. While it’s great for content, 12s can’t be happy with what they see.
Trading Russell Wilson, releasing Bobby Wagner, and moving on from Duane Brown all signal REBUILD. Quandre Diggs coming back and D.K. Metcalf‘s extension? Not so much. The Wilson deal and its aftermath, in particular, leads us to our next area of disbelief.
The Wilson haul was ok, not at the Deshaun Watson level, but he’s older and isn’t an alleged serial predator so let’s assume Cleveland had no interest. While Wilson was obviously a bigger headache behind the scenes than maybe we all realized, he WAS an above-average NFL quarterback.
The Seahawks’ brain trust thought a potentially good tight end, an average defensive lineman, and some magic beans that might grow into Kirk Cousins were fair value, so they pulled the trigger. Going into a non-rebuild with said beans, Geno Smith, and Lake Steven’s own Jacob Eason is just masochistic.
Not to belabor the point, but Smith is starting because Drew Lock got COVID and then tossed three picks in his next preseason appearance. For all the fans who were clamoring for Jacob Eason, he lost his job in college to Jake Fromm (check out his game tape for the Giants last year), got cut by one of the most QB-needy teams in the NFL, and finally couldn’t even elbow his way into the Lock/Smith poop-fest.
That ship has sailed. Please kindly hitch your bandwagons to Sean Manion.
Anyone drafted to play running back for the Seattle Seahawks is cursed. It’s like being drafted by the Los Angeles Clippers back in the 90s and early 2000s. The only question about injuries is when they will occur and how bad they’ll be. With that said, the Seahawks welcome Kenneth Walker and his hernia to the Emerald City.
Luckily he’ll have Rashaad Penny to hang out with when he pulls a hamstring. Let’s not forget Chris Carson‘s neck, Thomas Rawls’s leg, and C.J. Prosise‘s everything. Christine Michael was lucky; all he lost in Seattle was his talent.
D.K. Metcalf and Tyler Lockett are two deep threats who have a quarterback that throws about as far as Henry Rowengartner after he slipped on the ball. I’d expect a dip in production.
Dee Eskridge gets injured so often they should shift him to tailback. Noah Fant was probably elated for 30 seconds when he heard Wilson was coming to Denver before realizing he would still be in a quarterback wasteland.
With Bobby Wagner gone, Jamal Adams is the new leader of the Seattle Seahawks defense. He had a great half-season, followed by a horrendous one. If we split the difference, he’s a slightly better-than-ok safety that is good in the box and shouldn’t be in coverage. So, of course, that was him being blown by in coverage most of last year.
Quandre Diggs was the second coming of Earl Thomas, including a horrible injury in his last game of the season of his contract year. He got his extension (not flipping off the team was probably a good strategy) and is back to try and lead another keystone cop secondary.
Linebacker Jordan Brooks is fast, Boye Mafe looks like he can rush the passer and the rest of the front seven seems totally adequate like they do every year. Once again, Seattle is relying on unproven corners and hoping for the best with their pass rush.
At least this time, most of the candidates are actual cornerbacks who might not need two years to figure out what they’re doing. Small victories matter here.
Pete Carroll won his power struggle with Wilson, which is right up there with Rocky taking down Drago as far as upsets go. Get ready for two runs right up the middle and an incompletion on third and long for the rest of his tenure. That’s right, the clogged toilet offense is back in Seattle!!!
Shane Waldron left the Rams to be the guy coordinating the “offense,” a decision I’m sure he doesn’t regret. Every other assistant Sean McVey has had is a head coach, but Shane’s gonna keep plugging away with Geno Smith at the helm. A fantastic career move.
I know there’s a new Defensive Coordinator, but it doesn’t matter. Carroll is the architect, and it will be his defense forever and ever. The league figured it out five years ago, but Coach Pete swears it’s an execution issue and not the scheme.
In a league where pressure is paramount to stopping air attacks, Seattle insists on a four-man rush to nowhere. Anytime you can give your opponent all day to throw, with defensive backs who struggle to maintain coverage, well that screams success.
So there you have it, you Haters Guide to the Hawks. I know my good friend Chris Phillips will try and throw out some stats to counter my arguments. Other than the roughly 5,000,000-1 time of possession disparity Seattle had last year, none of those stats matter.
The Seattle Seahawks had a wretched offense last year, WITH RW3 running the show. Now that he’s gone, they should start punting on third down to surprise the defense and flip the field on occasion. 4-13 would be a wild success…..Go Hawks.
Seattle Seahawks fans, it’s not all doom and gloom. Check back with us tomorrow for the Optimist’s Guide to the 2022 season.